Roses in December

136/365: It's like trying to hit a bullet with a smaller bullet whilst wearing a blindfold riding a horse

2012-02-15T20:00:00.001-06:00

Seriously, dressing my child should not be this difficult. I'm pretty sure. Also, we seriously need a baby manicurists. Child has got my thick, quick-growing nails and I just suck at keeping them cut.

I've got a fun post percolating that will hopefully happen tomorrow...so stay tuned! And no, it's not about constipation--I know you're disappointed.

135/365: My Valentines

2012-02-14T18:30:00.001-06:00

My valentines from Coraline and Jeremy (yay Wall-E!). And, of course, Cora looking cute :-)

134/365: Sonnet 116

2012-02-14T14:41:00.001-06:00

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! It is an ever fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose Worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass cone;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom:
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
~William Shakespeare

133/365: In a funk? Why not buy all new furniture? Umm...ok.

2012-02-12T18:29:00.001-06:00

Ok so we didn't buy all new furniture...but we still got some good stuff. I figure it this way: we had to get a kitchen table because the old one went to brother-in-law so why not go whole hog and get the matching bench for one side (seating for up to 6!), and then since we're there already why not get that small desk for the kitchen we've been wanting and those couple of chairs for the living room we always meant to buy (because hey, what's stopping you?). Done, done, and done. We have now rearranged the living room so that the TV is off to the side instead of front-and-center and our 2 new chairs will go across from the couch (pictures to come at a later date).

I am super stoked about the kitchen table--I think it'll be really durable and it's oak colored so I don't think it'll show wear as much as cherry, espresso, or black would. This is very important since we intend to eat dinner at it every night. I think having the bench will be pretty cool too b/c if we aren't using it it'll be easy to slide out if the way & then if peeps come over...blam! two more places at the table.

Best part of the furniture? It was all on sale or clearance due to President's Day plus we got 2 years no interest financing. I love buying things that you don't actually have to pay for immediately.

132/365: Represent

2012-02-11T16:24:00.001-06:00

Found this rocking shirt last night at Penney's for $10. It's red. I now own a red shirt. No, the world has not ended. Also, it's hard to take a phone picture of one's shirt without it looking like a picture meant to display one's boobs. Overlook that for me, k?

131/365: 6 months

2012-02-10T21:14:00.001-06:00

Coraline is 6 months old as of yesterday! Time is so strange in that it simultaneously feels as though she should only be about half as old and twice as old as she really is. Very weird indeed.

At 6 months she can roll both ways, transfer items from hand to hand, take her paci out and put it back in (yay!), and sit up for awhile when positioned that way. She loves to play with toys now but still enjoys just talking with and looking at people best of all. She has become aware of the TV now and cranes her neck around to see it if it's on...hence we watch even less TV now than before. She loves playing in the exersaucer at home and the jumperoo at school...anything that she can stand up in is a winner in her book.

She eats baby food now and has so far had peas, apples, and avocado. She has eaten everything really well so far and I'm hoping that trend continues.

On top of "Vincent" and "Big Yellow Taxi" she's now a huge fan of "Don't Worry Baby" by the Beach Boys...fine by me :-) We seem to have her constipation issues sorted out finally and so she is able to sleep and eat better and is just generally feeling good...a great way to start the second half of her first year!

130/365: The devil made me do it

2012-02-10T11:17:00.001-06:00

"This is the excellent foppery of the world, that when we are sick in fortune--often the surfeits of our own behavior--we make guilty of our disasters the sun, the moon, and the stars, as if we were villains on necessity, fools by heavenly compulsion, knaves, thieves, and treachers by spherical predominance, drunkards, liars, and adulterers by an enforced obedience of planetary influence, and all that we are evil in, by a divine thrusting on."
~William Shakespeare, King Lear

129/365: Relating

2012-02-09T10:17:00.001-06:00

Saturday was a seriously bad day. Actually, the whole weekend was. The thing that really killed me about it was that there was no reason for it to be bad. We were just off. I had to go in to work Saturday which I actually wasn't in a bad mood about (believe that or don't) but after I got home things just went downhill. Fast.

The result? Coraline and I loaded in the car driving into town at 5:15 because I just needed to walk. I should've been thinking about dinner and bathtime and bedtime, etc...but I just really needed to walk, to think, to figure out what in the hell was wrong with me.

I did a lot of thinking as I was driving and I came up with a bunch of contributing factors...sleep deprivation, hormones, PMS, just a bad day...and then it hit me. A huge part of my frustration kept coming back around to my apparent inability to figure out what to do with Coraline. She's growing and developing so fast right now that her preferences change seemingly constantly. The activities that she was all about a few days ago don't hold her attention anymore. She's graduating to playing with toys and being more active and I just don't adapt fast enough sometimes.

We ended up at Target so that I could pick up a toy that I knew we'd both have fun with. I chalked the frustrating day up to growing pains, got off my case, and decided to try again the next day. Sometimes you just need to step back and take a long look at things to figure out what's making everything feel so funky. Also, strolling a cute baby and Target make most days 100% better.

128/365: Trifles make the sum of life

2012-02-07T13:31:00.001-06:00

Today is Charles Dickens's 200th birthday! My favorite author! Yay! Go read a Dickens book in memory of this awesome dude (let me suggest A Tale of Two Cities or David Copperfield). I love me some Charlie...check out some reviews of his books that I've done previously--I think that the link is still in the sidebar.

"The way I look at it is, that we are all drawing on to the bottom of the hill, whatever age we are, on account of time never standing still for a single moment. So let us always do a kindness, and be over-rejoiced. To be sure!"
~Charles Dickens, David Copperfield

127/365: In which crocheting makes a comeback and I send my pediatrician off with the age-old "don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you"

2012-02-06T09:11:00.001-06:00

We have a pediatrician appointment in t-minus 2.5 hours to deal with this constipation issue. I am preparing for battle. I realize that they probably won't be able to "do" anything so to speak, but my girl has been blocked for a month and a half now and someone needs to show some concern. If I don't get some satisfaction I'm switching doctors. I know you're tired of hearing about constipation and I swear to get some better content soon.

In other news, this was a 3-steps-back kind of weekend. While there were a few shining moments, those were pretty few and far between. And so, Monday morning finds me less than refreshed and not at all ready to face the week. Also, on top of the pediatrician appt to talk about my daughter's inability to poo, my wisdom teeth consult is today. Joy of joys. How ever will I survive the excitement?

On a lighter note, I picked up a crochet magazine at Kroger that has a seriously cute pattern for a couple Easter baskets. They're more difficult than my usual fare but I'm gonna try to crank one out in time for Coraline's first Easter. I'm working on a baby blanket right now but should be done soon. I'll keep you posted on how it goes...I haven't given up on the idea of opening an etsy shop and this would be a really cute product.

126/365: Mary Poppins? Oh, I know her...she's the one what sings about a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down.

2012-02-05T21:25:00.001-06:00

"I understand, gov'ner. You've got to grind, grind, grind at that grindstone...though childhood slips like sand through a sieve. And all too soon they're up and grown, and then they've flown and it's too late for you to give...just that spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down..."
~Bert, Mary Poppins

125/365: Houston, we have some poo

2012-02-03T18:19:00.001-06:00

She finally pooed yesterday. After days of juice, green peas, and very little cereal (which eventually became no cereal at all), she finally passed the impacted part. Since then she has pooed an eensy bit yesterday and today. I still feel like there should be a better result after so much fiber. If it doesn't improve much I plan to call and give the pediatrician a piece of my mind Monday since he apparently couldn't care about her poor bottom if he really tried. Enough about poo. Sorry for the TMI.

I am so ready for the weekend. I so hope that it can mainly consist of relaxing and playing. Also, I hope that Coraline can sleep better...she's been so uncomfortable lately that she just doesn't sleep well. Oh well, at least if we're up all night I won't have to go to work...except for tomorrow...but that's not til 9:30 so it almost doesn't count...almost.

Enjoy your weekend!

124/365: I still look back with wonder

2012-02-02T13:57:00.001-06:00

"When you're a little kid, you're a little bit of everything. Artist, scientist, athlete, scholar...Sometimes it seems like growing up is the process of giving those things up. One by one. I guess we all have one thing we regret giving up. One thing we really miss that we gave up because we were too lazy, or we couldn't stick it out, or because we were afraid."
~The Wonder Years

123/365: Unplugged

2012-02-02T13:22:00.001-06:00

You would not believe (or maybe you would) the amount of flack I've been getting from people over apparently not participating enough on social networking-type websites. Apparently I don't post often enough on Facebook and if you're not on Pinterest you're basically an idiot. I seriously had like 5 people complain to me about this just this week! So now I've decided to come on here and vent all over your perfectly good day...

1. The internet is fun but not when I'm at home. When I'm home it's for looking up driving directions and for answering questions. That's it.

2. I mess around on social sites and I blog either at work or right before bed.

3. If I can't get on a site at work then I pretty much don't get on it.

4. I don't need more ways to waste time--no matter how cool it is. I'm seriously awesome at wasting time on my own.

I'm not saying all this to be harsh or for some sort of holier-than-thou-because-I-never-use-tech-at-home proclamation. I watch TV (Big Bang Theory tonight!). I check Facebook when Coraline's napping or in bed for the night. I'm not Hitler about it. The truth is (and this is pretty sad), if I don't have a policy of being unplugged at home then I will find myself putting Coraline in the exersaucer to play alone again just so I can have 5 more minutes on Facebook. Then I get to bedtime and I realize that I really connected with her for about 30 minutes all night (and most of that was just to keep her from drowning while we bathed her). And that's really sad. So for awhile now I've been putting my phone away when I get home and doing my best to make evenings and the majority of weekends family time. I'll catch up on what you had for dinner and how much you hate traffic once we're all in bed.

122/365: I'd like the good news, then a Valium, then the bad news

2012-01-31T21:15:00.001-06:00

The good news is I don't have any cavities. The bad news is that my wisdom teeth absolutely must come out. No matter which way you slice it (so to speak) that seems to be the case. The good news is I finished my quarterly report yesterday. The bad news is I'm about to get another project added to my workload with no corresponding extra moola. The good news is she doesn't absolutely hate peas. The bad news is she's still constipated as hell and my pediatrician is no help. The good news is tomorrow is Wednesday. The bad news is that means Thursday and Friday haven't come and gone yet.

121/365: We got a mobile for her daycare crib...

2012-01-30T19:05:00.001-06:00

...she seems to like it.

120/365: Light and high beauty forever

2012-01-30T09:38:00.001-06:00

This is one of my favorite passages in a book ever. It's been posted on the blog here before but is so worth repeating.

"Far above the Ephel Duath in the West the night-sky was still dim and pale. There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for awhile. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach. Now, for a moment, his own fate, and even his master's, ceased to trouble him. He crawled back into the brambles and laid himself by Frodo's side, and putting away all fear he cast himself into a deep untroubled sleep."
~J.R.R. Tolkien
The Lord of the Rings, the Return of the King

119/365: Terror

2012-01-29T17:00:00.001-06:00

Coraline is totally terrified of my in-laws for some reason. It is rather upsetting and awkward but I really don't know anything to do about it right now. They came down to visit for a few today (and to take back a table they gave Jeremy 7 years ago) and Coraline went ballistic every time they tried to hold her or play with her. Awkward.

118/365: Total Recall

2012-01-28T20:14:00.001-06:00

I hope that I can always remember with vivid clarity what Coraline was like right now. Right now. Today. I guess that's what pictures and video are for, but I'm sure I'm gonna need a lot of footage to get me through the teen years so I hope my memory turns out to be pretty spot-on too.

In other news, Bob is visiting this weekend. We've run errands and watched movies and it's been a pretty great time so far. If you get a chance to see Inside Job or Thank You for Smoking totally do it, man.

Finally, I bought a leotard, tights, and ballet shoes today. I'm totally doing it and it feels pretty good. Wearing a leotard at this juncture though--not really a self-esteem booster. The point of ballet is to see your body so I really had no choice...I'm just gonna have to make sure that the other people in the class don't see too much of it :-)

117/365: And now for something funny (part 2)

2012-01-26T08:42:00.001-06:00

Watch ""You'll have to answer to the Coca-Cola company"" on YouTube

117/365: And now for something funny

2012-01-26T08:41:00.001-06:00

Watch "Dr Strangelove scene" on YouTube

116/365: Arrr! I'm a dead poet

2012-01-25T08:48:00.001-06:00

"I'd like you to step forward over here and peruse some of the faces from the past. They're not that different from you are they? Same haircuts. Full of hormones, just like you. Invincible, just like you feel. The world is their oyster. They believe they're destined for great things, just like many of you. Their eyes are full of hope, just like you. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because, you see gentlemen, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it?---Carpe---hear it?---Carpe, carpet diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary."
~Mr. Keating, Dead Poets Society

115/365: I'm still sick

2012-01-24T20:09:00.001-06:00

114/365: I'm sick

2012-01-23T14:40:00.001-06:00

I had this incredibly dumb calculation of the amount of leave time I could accumulate if I could manage not to take a sick day all year. It's January 23rd and I've already blown that idea apart. I seem to have caught cold or (what's more likely) had a bad reaction to something disgusting in my grandmother's house. My head is so swollen it feels like I've been hit by a semi. I'm hoping to feel well enough for work tomorrow since I really need to save as many sick days as possible. I know I missed posting yesterday and I'll make it up later this week.

113/365: Nightmare

2012-01-21T22:51:00.001-06:00

This is what a nightmare looks like.

112/365: I'm glad somebody's happy

2012-01-20T22:24:00.001-06:00

This is a killer weekend as my grandmother moves out of her house and into an apartment. It's a move that she's not really happy about but that had to happen. Please pray for my sanity. In baby news, we've officially found our feet...and they rock!

111/365: Doing something positive just for me

2012-01-19T14:08:00.001-06:00

I still have a lot of guilt about being a working mom. Even though I know that Coraline's at a great day care where they love her and she does well. Even though I know that I'm making money to go toward things that will benefit her. I still feel guilty because there is so much around me telling me that I'm being selfish and that my kid will be screwed up for life because of this choice. And let's face it, I can be beyond hard on myself. As a result of all of this, I pretty much spend all of my time working really hard for everyone else.

So now I am doing something selfish. Something just for me. I'm going to take a ballet class. Once a week, 1.5 hours, just for me. I'm really excited about it and I'm hoping I won't guilt myself out if doing it. It'll take me a couple of weeks to get started because I havea to buy some shoes and a leotard but I'm really serious about it. I need to remember that I need time too...and I think this will be awesome.

110/365: Big Yellow Taxi

2012-01-18T20:53:00.001-06:00

You don't know what you got til it's gone

If I had to pick a second theme for 2012 (I know, I know, two themes is a little overkill), this would be it. This is what I try to remind myself when I'm up 3 times a night with Coraline, when I'm ready to pull Jeremy's head off because he said something utterly stupid, when I'm just ready to burn the house down and start over because it's so freaking messy and disorganized, etc...

You don't know what you got til it's gone

I have several friends and acquaintances who are really struggling right now. Mostly with marriage issues. I'm telling you, nothing will kill a marriage faster than money issues (ok, maybe infidelity but you get the point). I have others that are languishing at jobs they hate because they're afraid to leave and risk extended unemployment. The main thing is that people are just unhappy with their lives. Sometimes there's an obvious reason and sometimes it's just dissatisfaction with everything. Let me just say that I realize people often have reasons that are not apparent to outsiders...I get that.

I guess my point is that I don't want to take things for granted. I want to appreciate my husband, my youth, my baby, etc... One day we'll all be older and Coraline will be grown and I really don't want to look back and say that I wish I had paid attention and appreciated things while I was in the thick of it. I'm sure I'll do that a decent amount but I'd like to minimize it as much as possible :-)

109/365: He will have power the Dark Lord knows not

2012-01-17T11:09:00.001-06:00

"He didn't realize that love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark. Not a scar, no visible sign...to have been loved so deeply, even though the person who loved us is gone, will give us some protection forever. It is in your very skin."
~J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

108/365: 5 month pictures with Pooh Bear!

2012-01-16T12:22:00.003-06:00

Finally took some 5 month pictures...only a week late. Enjoy!

107/365: My house is a wreck

2012-01-15T21:11:00.001-06:00

But I bought some seriously cool picture frames, yo. I should have spent my weekend cleaning every inch of my house so as to start the new year off right...but instead I bought $150 worth of picture frames, Jeremy worked more on the pantry, and we watched Winnie the Pooh with the little one (we watched, she mostly listened and danced where appropriate). The only productive things I've managed to do so far are go to the grocery (said groceries are still in bags in the floor), take a walk, and make a meatloaf. Yay for 3-day weekends!

106/365: TGIS

2012-01-14T21:24:00.001-06:00

So glad that today was Saturday. We got a chance to relax and sleep in (yay!) and still managed to make a major grocery run. It took us quite awhile to get moving today which means that we'll have to get on up and get moving tomorrow at a decent time. So many things to do...so little time. Hope you're enjoying your weekend!

105/365: Girls Night

2012-01-13T21:31:00.001-06:00

Tonight was girls night since Jeremy has resumed his game night with friends. It works out well because he gets time with friends doing something he loves and I get a full night of quality time with my girl. Tonight we pretty much just hung out and then went to bed early. Great end to a sucky-ass week and great start to a 3-day weekend!

104/365: Warning: Morbid

2012-01-12T13:55:00.001-06:00

I think about death a lot.

Probably more than a mentally healthy person really should.

Sometimes I wonder at my own death. What would things be like, who would come to my funeral, what's the afterlife really like? Morbid stuff. Mostly though, I think about what things would be like if my loved ones died. What would I do? How would I react? Morbid, I know.

When I was pregnant I often thought about what I would do or say if my baby died. I had known/heard of too many people who lost babies (even full term babies) to just not think about it. If she died I wanted her to have a name and a grave and an epitaph. I didn't want her to just disappear as if she'd never existed.

I wondered a lot about how I'd manage to resume my life if she died, how strange would it be to be a childless mother? And I decided fairly early on that her death was something I might never really recover from. It seemed like I'd just have a Coraline-shaped hole in me forever. Now, I'm sure of it. If The Lord of the Rings has taught me anything it's that there are some things you just don't come back from.

There's a song by The Band Perry that I really like called "If I Die Young" and I've found Coraline's epitaph in it. I know it's morbid, but stay with me... If for some reason Coraline were to pass away as a child this is totally what I'd put on her tombstone:

This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you.

This is a heavy post & I know it makes me sound like a freak. It's just been on my mind today I guess.

Edit: So I'm an idiot. The epitaph is totally from Vincent (still Coraline's favorite song). I do still like the other song though so that part is true. Ok, as you were.

103/365: I got nothing

2012-01-11T08:33:00.001-06:00

My body hurts all over (thank you That Time Of The Month) and I've had a headache for 3 days now. I am depressed, cranky, and exhausted. Back tomorrow with something worth posting.

102/365: She always comes back

2012-01-10T08:04:00.001-06:00

Watch "The Woman In Black Trailer Official (HD)" on YouTube

I must see this movie! Also, I must find a babysitter!

101/365: 5 months

2012-01-09T21:17:00.001-06:00

Today the Coraline is 5 months old! She is still a sweet, snuggly baby, but she is now all about being mobile. She has always been a big squirmer (squirmers gotta squirm), but now she's really trying to put all that squirming to work in hopes that it'll take her somewhere. Not quite yet though.

She's trying to sit up now and still loves to be held up on her feet like she's standing (we put the exersaucer to good use). The best thing about her is still her sweet and easygoing disposition. We still rock a lot and I gotta admit that's my favorite part of the day :-) That, and all the big smiles I get when I drop her off at and pick her up from daycare.

100/365: Post 100! Only 265 more to go...

2012-01-08T21:18:00.001-06:00

It's pretty crazy that it's already been 100 days since I started this. Even crazier that I've managed to keep it up this long. I'm in it for the long haul though--I really want to see it through to the end. Hopefully I can manage to keep it interesting enough that you stay with me.

So what did we do this weekend? We started cereal. It goes over well at the eating stage, but about 4 hours after those too cute photos in the post below this were taken...cue baby screaming in pain. And it happened every subsequent time we fed her the cereal so I'm sure that's what it is. So, I shall be making a call to the pediatrician tomorrow to find out what to do. If they tell me to keep feeding it to her even though she screams in pain for about an hour while she tries to digest it I am so getting a new doc. Let's see...what else...

I finally got my Christmas decor taken down and stored away ready for its off-season home in the attic. I'm kinda sad to see it go. Post-holiday letdown is a tough mistress.

And finally, we worked on a pantry that Jeremy is building for the kitchen (because hey, what's stopping you?). See pictures below of the work in progress.

P.S.--my mum came through surgery ok. That is a very good thing and I'm looking forward to her being well. Please keep her in your thoughts as the recovery period is always rough & will be pretty long. Also keep my dad in your thoughts too ad he is the one shouldering all of the burden of taking care of mum & my mildly senile grandmother. Thanks. Always appreciated.

Ok, now pantry pics!

99/365: mmm....oatmeal

2012-01-07T15:16:00.003-06:00

We started baby oatmeal today! The first meal went well...hoping she continues to like it. I'm getting pretty excited about introducing real foods (gotta drag out that Baby Bullet and give it a whirl). I think we're gonna have a great eater on our hands :-)

98/365: How to make realistic weight goals, or seriously, really I'm not that dedicated

2012-01-06T13:37:00.001-06:00

I'm pretty sure that losing weight and exercising more make it onto every woman's resolution list every year. It seems like women from 18 to 70 are constantly talking about those pesky 10, 20, or 30 lbs they want to lose. I'm no different. Every year I add both of those lofty goals to my list in the hopes that I'll be looking like Jessica Alba by March. Lemme fill you in on a little secret...I've been making this resolution for about 6-7 years and I still don't look like Jessica Alba. Suddenly I feel really gypped.

I don't know if it's getting older and accepting things better or just not caring as much after the toll pregnancy took on my body, but I finally decided to be more realistic with my weight goals. I'd like to lose some weight, that's true, but I know myself and I know that extreme dieting is just not gonna work. The exercise probably won't happen much either until the spring when I can go strolling around outside with the kiddo. Right now it's too cold most days & gets dark way too early still. So anyway, here we go:

1. Only drink one soda per day. I'd like to say no soda at all...but that's not gonna happen.

2. Starbucks twice a week max.

3. Eat very healthy/low calorie stuff for breakfast and lunch (hello Smart Ones frozen meals).

4. Try to make healthier stuff for dinner.

5. Eat dinner on a smaller plate (thus eating less overall).

6. Snacks should be fruit, low calorie popcorn, or hummus and baked chips (I don't do raw veggies).

7. I'm gonna allow myself to eat out or get fast food once a week so I don't go crazy--but I'm still gonna try to eat mostly from places like Subway so as not to completely sabotage myself.

8. Dessert really isn't a big deal to me so I'm just saying that I can have it when I want it but it needs to be a very small portion.

So far, this seems very doable for me. I'm also working on not letting one or two slip-ups totally throw me off. Gotta get back on that horse. This definitely isn't going to help me achieve supermodel status but maybe after awhile my pants will fit better & I'll feel a little better about myself.

97/365: Love

2012-01-06T09:32:00.001-06:00

If I have the gift of prophesy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
~I Corinthians 13:2

96/365: For the world is hollow and I have touched the sky

2012-01-04T13:50:00.001-06:00

Yesterday was what I'm gonna call a hollow day. One of those days when, for whatever reason, you just feel as if you've been scooped out inside and all that's left is hollowness and bitterness. I refrained from posting on purpose--you're welcome. When you're ready to start a blog entitled "rant" at 8 o'clock in the morning, you should probably just shelve it and try again the next day.

So now, Constant Reader, where do we go from here? Well, first off let me start by saying that today is definitely not a hollow sort of day and I am super glad of this. In all honesty, yesterday's feelings were really a result of serious PMS. Ever since Coraline was born and my cycles resumed (TMI I know--hang in there), my usual pre-period depression has gotten about 10x worse than it was previously. Thankfully, I have a doc appt. later this month and maybe he can help me out. But at least things are better today...always a plus.

In other news, Coraline seems to be thoroughly enjoying her new daycare and this makes me so happy it's just plain amazing. Another plus, I can actually access the webcam on my desktop at work! So I get to login early in the morning and just click over to watch my girl periodically. New daycare for the win. Oh, the bad news about this daycare...there's a Starbucks right down the road on my way to work. Goodbye perpetual, unattainable weight loss goal. Also, goodbye mad money.

Things at home are pretty great...I'm working on organizing and decorating the house--both things I always say I will do and never get around to actually doing. Things at work are...things at work. 'Nuff said.

Few more things: my mum has her 2nd hip surgery today and so my nerves will be all IBS-y until I get the all clear. Also this month, my grandmother moves into an apartment which is probably a disaster waiting to happen. That's not for awhile though so stay tuned for more up-to-the-minute coverage.

Coming soon: review of Full Dark, No Stars, probably some prattling about the Oscars (yes, it's that time again, and some tips on how to lose weight without actually wanting to.

95/365: Oh goodness, first day back after the holidays do suck the big one

2012-01-03T20:48:00.001-06:00

There were also good things about today though. Coraline started a new daycare (super yay!!) and she had a great day. I spoke with the teachers a long time this afternoon and really like them. Here's to hoping that this is a much better experience. Also, there's really no amount of tiring days (or post-holiday letdown) that can't be lightened by some hot chocolate and Harry Potter.

94/365: A day in the life

2012-01-02T20:24:00.001-06:00

We did a lot today in preparation for our return to work (or in Cora's case, school) tomorrow. Mommy and Daddy put together a highchair and a new small bookcase for baby's room. Coraline mostly did some epic napping. Girl knows how to chill with the best of them.

93/365: So what's stopping you?

2012-01-02T14:19:00.001-06:00

If I had to sum up my plans and hopes for this new year in onev phrase that'd be it--so what's stopping you?

This year my big goal (superseding all those tiny goals like world peace, winning the lottery, exercising enough to have the body of a supermodel, and having a fling with Johnny Depp) is to do a lot of the things that I always want to do but never get around to actually accomplishing. This mostly refers to home improvement/organization projects that we've been talking about for years but have nothing to show for. So from now on when I think of something like framing and hanging pictures, reorganizing my sock drawer, screening in the back porch, or buying a cube system for every room in the house so that we can be both organized and uniform...instead of just forgetting about it & being disappointed later when I realize it never happened, I'm instead gonna say, "so what's stopping you?"

92/365: Out with the old, in with the new

2011-12-31T21:21:00.002-06:00

2011 is almost over...there are about 2.5 hours left in the year to be exact, and so I thought I would do the typical blog thing and reflect a bit. Gotta hurry though b/c seriously, it's kinda past my bedtime :-)

2011 was a pretty rough year in a lot of ways. If I had to pick a word that really describes my year, it'd be "survival." 2011 was the year of surviving. It was the year of constant and persistent morning sickness, the year of pregnancy-induced insomnia, the year of new baby-induced insomnia, the year of labor and delivery and a third-degree tear, the year we discovered that my grandmother is most likely in the early stages of dementia, and the year I lost my grandfather. 2011 was the year that found me constantly asking God to just get me through this one more thing. Just get me through this day, God. Just get me through this hour. Just help me to deal with this until the nausea and vomiting go away, just a few more weeks, God. It wasn't like I was dealing with horribly tough stuff...I just rarely ever felt good, rarely ever felt right. But, as things always do, my year was balanced with some pretty awesome stuff too...

Jeremy and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary in style (and he even bought me some jewelry too!). We had our first baby. For that alone, 2011 is gonna rank right up there with 2006 (the year I got married) as a red-letter year. I became a somewhat-supervisor at work and discovered that I'm actually enjoying it and am apparently fairly good at it. Jeremy got a new position at work that has pretty much guaranteed him a job for the next 2 years while many of his friends have been laid off. 2011 gave us a lot to be thankful for really.

All of that being said, I'm looking forward to it passing on and the coming of a sparkling clean new year that is full of possibilities and opportunities. I'm planning to make 2012 a year that I don't just make it through, but a year that I really make my own. A year that I really look back on and smile about because so many great experiences were had. Here's to wishing you the very same thing.

91/365: An update of sorts and some mild reflection

2011-12-30T22:41:00.001-06:00

We seem to have gotten a pass on the colicky behavior tonight. Some combination of gas drops, food, attention, etc...has helped her feel better and we've thusly all felt better tonight. Thank goodness for that. I have a real problem with frustration and so when she starts to have a problem that I can't figure out things go from 0-frustrated incredibly quick. This is so making it into my New Year's resolution list. It's looking as if this year's list is gonna be pretty long...

I'm not a huge proponent of the resolution game...most of the time my resolutions seem to be broken by week 2 of the new year...but the past couple of years I've really paid more attention to them. I still have the same old breakable ones on my list every year--lose 15 lbs, workout 3x a week, blah, blah, blah--but there are usually some pretty thoughtful ones that make the cut too and that I actually remember throughout the year. I'm still mulling some ideas over in my head so I guess you'll just have to check back later to find out what I've chosen :-)

90/365: Thank you, sir! May I have another?

2011-12-30T14:53:00.001-06:00

So I very probably have a baby who is now suffering from colick. If I can't break this cycle soon I may die. I'm not trying to be a whiney asshole here, but seriously the crying has been going on for 24 hrs now with no tangible end in sight. Unless we get lucky enough to have her sleep all night which I doubt. I hate having her cry and not be able to fix it. I'm off to troubleshoot some more...will be back with more info at some point.

89/365: Yes, I am a girl, thanks for noticing

2011-12-30T11:23:00.001-06:00

My mom found some cute headbands for Coraline for Christmas and we decided to try one out this morning. Pretty cute.

88/365: Back home, back to the grind (sorta)

2011-12-29T08:20:00.001-06:00

Christmas is over finally...we celebrated with my in-laws on Tuesday and then headed back home. Now it looks as if Christmas threw up in my living room. Packages, gift bags, wrapping paper, and gifts are all mingling in a big pile together. I'll get things sorted and put away eventually..at least that's what I keep telling myself. At least everything's out of the car--that's something. I go back to work today for a few hours so I'll be blogging more from there later. For now I'm going to snuggle a little more with a certain sweet girl and make some cinnamon rolls I think...

87/365: Christmas Redux

2011-12-26T21:23:00.001-06:00

Christmas is over (mostly...we do have a get-together with the in-laws tomorrow) and I'm combatting my after-holiday depression by looking into the new year. I'm mulling over resolutions and lessons/experiences from 2011 that I want to be sure to take forward. I'll be back later with further thoughts there.

As for the here and now...some things:
1. I am so glad I have the majority of this week off--being away from home wipes me out.

2. Being away from home wipes me out. I miss sleeping in my bed, following my routine, etc...

3. While my baby may get fussy some while she's out of town I'm pretty sure that her complete meltdowns equate to the average child's pre-crying spat warm up. Calm, pleasant child for the win.

4. I am so freaking tired and am about to go to bed instead of repacking all my stuff just so that I can run around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to make it to the in-laws's on time. Cuz that's how I roll.

5. Did I mention that being out of town wipes me out?

86/365: Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T18:00:00.001-06:00

We've had a great Christmas so far with one more to celebrate on Tuesday. All 3 of us are worn out seeing as how Coraline is off any semblance of schedule or normalcy and is back to not sleeping well. It's worth it though. And tomorrow we have a gap day in which we can sleep and just chill out without having to visit with anyone. That's a great Christmas gift in itself. Hopefully we will be refreshed and energized again when we hit up his family on Tuesday. I hope that you have had a wonderful Christmas and that Santa brought you everything you wished for :)

85/365: Christmas is here, bringing good cheer

2011-12-25T10:54:00.001-06:00

No posting last night b/c there was just so much going on. Christmas #1 with my family was a big success. Fun and love were had by all. Merry Christmas to you--hope you have a wonderful day.

84/365: You chipmunks ready to sing your song?

2011-12-23T19:42:00.001-06:00

Christmas, Christmas time is here. Time for joy and time for cheer. We've been good but we can't last. Hurry Christmas, hurry fast.

83/365: The countdown begins

2011-12-22T15:38:00.002-06:00

It's about 1.25 days away from the start of our Christmas celebrations. Tomorrow I finish up the tiny bit of shopping I have left to do (yes I am that person who is still out shopping on Christmas Eve), and then we pack. We'll be out of town for 4 days and so that means that we have to bring practically everything the baby owns...and some clothes or something for us too I guess. We have to take both cars in order to fit everything we need plus presents...it'll be like a very mini caravan! Anyway, I will still be posting everyday but it may just be pictures and blurbs through the holiday. I make no promise of interesting content. Hopefully there will be some but I hate to promise things and not deliver. I'm thinking that maybe my folks will watch the baby long enough for us to see a movie (the new Sherlock Holmes! or The Muppets!) so that could make for an interesting post. At any rate (since I'm now rambling). Have a great 2 days before Christmas tomorrow! Smell ya later.

82/365: Tidings of comfort and joy

2011-12-21T11:05:00.001-06:00

I read a blurb article the other day about people complaining that A Charlie Brown Christmas is still being shown on TV. Apparently there are a lot of people who feel that the special shouldn't be shown because of its obvious Christian leaning--with the main complaint being that Linus Van Pelt quotes Luke 2:8-14 in a major scene.

"And there were in that same country shepherds abinsing in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, 'Fear not: for, behold, I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.' And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill towards men.'"

Now, as I mentioned in a previous post, I am not a cram-Christ-down-your-throat-because-that's-what-Christmas-is-REALLY-about kind of person. I'm just not. I figure if I make everyone mad by doing that then I'm probably hindering the cause rather than helping. So I don't. But I'm a bit mad about this whole overly-PC thing.

I love A Charlie Brown Christmas and I love apparently offensive Christmas songs like "O Holy Night" and "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" which at this rate will all be stricken from the airwaves before my child is old enough to enjoy them.

Am I completely contradictory here? I don't think so. I think that there can be at least a mostly middle ground. I mean, if you remove all religious references from the holiday then aren't you doing the same thing the secular-only people have been complaining about? I don't know, maybe I am being contradictory. All I know is that I want to keep Charlie Brown. It's a good thing I have the special on DVD I guess.

81/365: The Fruits of My Labor

2011-12-20T15:02:00.004-06:00

As a parent, you have to take 69 photos of everything in order to make it out with 2-3 that actually look decent. Case in point...the following are pictures of Coraline at 4 months and I only had to take about 30 to get a good one. The sad part? I have a smiley, happy baby. I don't know how parents of cantankerous babies ever get good pictures...maybe they're just better photographers than me.

Enjoy.

80/365: In which I cry like a baby, or hormones, get it together please

2011-12-19T14:29:00.001-06:00

I decided that it would be cool to start a tradition wherein we get a new book every Christmas pertaining to Christmas somehow. I'm talking nice books here too...like Polar Express nice (look at me figuring out how to do italics on my phone!). So this year, after much deliberation, I bought The Spirit of Christmas by Nancy Tillman (Kohl's Cares book--proceeds donated to charity!). We read it last night and I almost couldn't finished it because it was so sweet that I choked up.

Also, this is why it's important to take your birth control regularly...mayhaps then your hormones would be in better shape, yes? As if I don't have 69 other things to remember.

But seriously, The Spirit of Christmas? Nice book. Especially for a first Christmas. Prepare to tear up a little if your hormones are anything like mine (meaning all over the place at all times).

79/365: Typical Sunday

2011-12-18T20:39:00.001-06:00

It's been a good day. A little gift wrapping, a little napping, a little TV watching. Typical Sunday. We managed to pull a good one out of the bag even though we all woke up in bad moods. I also managed to wrap all but one gift. I have 3 things left to pick up and then I'm done with Christmas shopping! Thank goodness.

78/365: I am a Christmas ninja

2011-12-17T21:23:00.001-06:00

I am almost finished with my Christmas shopping. If people don't lime what I got them this year then I give up b/c I really, really tried to find something great for everyone. Tomorrow I'm wrapping presents, drinking hot chocolate, and playing with my girl (who continues to sleep like a champ--knock on wood). And now a couple snapshots from the day:

77/365: TGIF

2011-12-16T16:48:00.001-06:00

Lots to do this weekend...last minute shopping, getting ready to be out of town for about 5 days, the usual cleaning, grocery shopping, etc... I'm hoping to manage some R&R in there somewhere. Also hoping Coraline sleeps thru the night again (2 days in a row so far!). I'm so glad that she seems to be feeling better...that nasty cold (or more likely RSV) just would not go away. Anyway, happy Friday! Enjoy your weekend!

76/365: All night long, baby. All. Night. Long.

2011-12-15T17:18:00.001-06:00

Last night we slept all night for the first time in almost 3 weeks! Cora's been having sleep trouble since she first started getting sick (I may have mentioned it here a couple times) and they continued on after her cold pretty much cleared up. I consulted all the readily available expert and layman advice I could find and eventually decided to put her to bed earlier. At first I thought it had worked but then the issues got worse...so last night we went back to the way we were doing things pre-illness and she slept quite well. I'm hoping that this'll fix our problems but I'm not gonna count on it until we've gone a few days sleeping well. Here's to hoping things are fixed...

75/365: Thoughtful

2011-12-14T15:38:00.001-06:00

I've been pretty thoughtful and withdrawn lately, all kinds of things knocking around in my head and no good way to distinguish them or get them out on paper. I'm excited about the holidays. I'm stressed and depressed at my girl's apparent inability to sleep for more than 2 hours at a time. I'm running on way less sleep than usual. And the list just goes on and on...

Then today, I read a blog posted by a woman that I follow online and it said a lot of stuff that I've been thinking lately. She was talking about what life was like in your thirties and even though I'm not thirty yet it so applied to where I feel like I am in life. She says that this time of life is "when we decide, like thoughtfully decide, how we spend our time" and then she talks about how "we learn to own our choices." Finally, and this is the thought that's really been rolling around in my head, she says this time of life is when "we learn that we create our life, that we are wholly responsible for our perspective." So true. So true.

I want to feel like I create my own life everyday. I want to quit feeling like things just happen to me and I'm left reeling from their impact. I want to take responsibility for my perspective. I want to understand that I am the one responsible for feeling miserable when that happens...that the things that happen to me don't have to affect my perspective. I really feel that so much in life is about perspective. I want to own my choices...and thusly make choices that I am willing to own.

I really believe that she is so right about all of these things...it's the implementation that's tough. I'm hopeful though. I've done some pretty big outlook adjusting in the past. Besides, you only get one life and so much of what I stress over and get upset about is completely insignificant when you remember that fact. It's all about perspective and it's time to start being responsible for that and owning it instead of blaming external factors constantly.

74/365: All the dancing Hitlers please wait off stage right and all the singing Hitlers off stage left

2011-12-13T20:26:00.001-06:00

Lots of things knocking around in my mind, none of them complete thoughts, all of them far from blog-worthy. For instance, right now I'm chuckling inside at just how funny the song "Springtime for Hitler" is and wondering what to pack for lunch tomorrow. I'm also thinking that Jeremy's friend who is over right now has a really loud speaking voice and simultaneously thinking that all of those years of Sunday School must have paid off as I can recite all 10 plagues on demand. The thoughts, they are scattered. To say the least.

In actual mild news, we finally seem to be getting better from our illness (knock on wood) at least for now. Also, I seem to be mostly finished with my Christmas shopping (woo-hoo!) but I will still definitely be out this weekend with all the other crazies who leave their shopping to the last minute. Finally, tomorrow is hump day...thank goodness.

73/365: Welcome Christmas

2011-12-12T12:22:00.001-06:00

"Welcome, Christmas, bring your cheer. Cheer to all Who's far and near. Christmas Day is in our grasp so long as we have hands to clasp. Christmas Day will always be just as long as we have we. Welcome, Christmas, while we stand, heart to heart and hand in hand."
~Dr. Seuss's How the Grinch Stole Christmas

72/365: Guess what I did this weekend...

2011-12-11T19:15:00.001-06:00

71/365: Prayer Time

2011-12-11T17:40:00.001-06:00

Lately (for the past week or two), Cora's been waking up in the middle of the night again. I'm not sure if it's a side effect from being sick or if it's due to a growth spurt or if we're experiencing the so-called "four month wakeful period"...whatever the reason, suffice it to say that she wakes up again now. And so I find myself going through my days in that mild haze of exhaustion that I used to be so familiar with, and I go through my nights rocking and getting comfortable again in my nursery chair. By the way, this girl had totally gotten used to getting a (mostly) full night's sleep and there are days when this seems way harder than it was the first time around.

Anyway, all of this is to say that while my sleep cycle has suffered a blow, my prayer life has actually improved. I've discovered that there's no better time for prayer really than when you're awake at 3 am and feeling desperate. Mostly what I want to say goes a little something like this, "I'm so tired. And I'm so tired of feeling tired. And I'm so tired of my baby feeling bad. I just want my happy-go-lucky baby back. It's Christmastime and I kinda don't care because I'm just so worn down." But, really all that does is allow me to dwell on the negative. So here's what I say instead, "thank you so much for my little girl. Thank you that she's going to be ok, that this cold will pass and she'll be ok again. Thank you for all of the time I get to spend with her even if it is at 3am."

Sometimes it's all about positive thinking and the knowledge that life is really so much bigger than the here and now.

70/365: 4 months!

2011-12-09T19:49:00.001-06:00

So...the little one is 4 months old today! Seems pretty crazy that it's already been that long. So anyway, here's a quick update...she's about 14 lbs now and is long enough that she's almost in 6 mos size clothes. She holds her head up really well and can roll both from front to back & back to front...but most of the time she chooses not to. She has discovered the awesomeness of the exersaucer and it's her new favorite thing to play in at daycare and home. She still likes to rock and she still likes to sing. You can tell though that all she really wants is to be mobile. She manages to scoot herself around some of the time but it's too much work right now for her to keep it up constantly.

She's still a really sweet baby who is super chill most of the time. I am so looking forward to her first Christmas! Bad thing about being 4 months old...round 2 of vaccine shots. :(

69/365: Finally

2011-12-09T12:16:00.001-06:00

I finally forgot to post something yesterday--knew it'd happen eventually. So, barring something horrible happening, I'm gonna post twice today to make up for it and stay on track. Yesterday was a rough day. I was physically worn out (I usually am by Thursday) and emotionally stretched. In a nutshell, I was worried that my baby hasn't had RSV all this time and will come down with a nasty case of it now that she seems to be over her cold (b/c half her class at daycare has been diagnosed with RSV), I have a mean-ass grandmother in the first stages of dementia who had a meltdown earlier this week and is stressing everyone out, and my mom has to have more surgery right after Christmas which always worries me. Then we detained our first kid who gets to spend Christmas in the detention center and that was the last nail in the coffin of my day.

I'm not a super bleeding heart. You get used to seeing kids in orange jumpsuits, handcuffs and leg irons. You get a bit of a thick skin after awhile--you have to or you won't be able to do your job well. Help the people you can help, the people who want it, and wish everyone else the best but don't expect much. For some reason though, the image of that 14 year old who started crying as he was being handcuffed because he realized he'd be in detention over Christmas just got to me. I couldn't shake it all day. Everytime I went to post, whatever I had decided to write just didn't fit my mood so I eventually just gave up.

Today is going much better...and most importantly, it's Friday! I'm so looking forward to getting our tree up this weekend, visiting with my parents, and hopefully getting some R&R.

Is the kid in detention still on my mind? Not really. I do wish that we could just not detain kids over Christmas, but unfortunately sometimes there's just no choice. Does Santa still visit you if you're in detention? I hope so.

68/365: I feel quite secure about my productivity level, thank you very much

2011-12-07T13:38:00.001-06:00

The referee has been out this week for minor surgery and we're all (all 3 of us) treating it like the holiday it is. There has been a lot of online shopping, newspaper reading, chatting, laughing, and work avoiding. It has been so pleasant. I decided last minute to crochet a scarf for someone on my Christmas list and this has provided me with some great time to work on it. She comes back tomorrow and so all of the previously mentioned activities go out the window...oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

67/365: Balancing Act

2011-12-06T08:49:00.001-06:00

I've been struggling for awhile now with how to balance everything in my life. Work, home, marriage, kid, chores, family, friends, hobbies, health, me-time, etc... Most of the time I just feel like there aren't enough hours in the day. And the truth is that I'm right...there aren't enough hours in the day to do everything I want to do the way I want to do it. Which generally just leaves me feeling grumpy and upset that I'm not more type-A, because if I was more Type-A I could definitely cram everything in. Seriously though, I'm just not. I'm finally trying to accept it and let it go.

If there's one thing that I've learned aboutr being an adult (and that being a parent has now reinforced majorly) it's that prioritizing isn't just some byword that people use to help you stay organized at work...it's what life's all about. The other thing I've learned? The fun, heartwarming, life affirming, soul stretching stuff doesn't always get to be the first priority. Some days dishwashing, bill paying, and laundry folding jump to the top out of necessity. And that's ok because all of those things are necessary.

Last night was girl's night as Jeremy had his final exam and wouldn't be home until late and so we played all night. She showed me how to roll from back to front and I showed her how to make a fish face. She waited patiently for me to eat dinner and I rewarded her with another hearty round of play. At the end of the night I had gotten basically nowhere with the big pile of laundry or the several-days-old dishes in the sink but I knew I'd picked the right thing. Today housework will have to take priority...but that's not too bad after all, it's all give and take. Besides, there's always time for play breaks between chores :)

66/365: In which the plague lifts and we survey the wreckage

2011-12-05T21:35:00.001-06:00

I think that we are all over (or at least on the upswing of) our colds and so now our routine can return to (relative) normalcy. I'm looking forward to getting more than 5 hours of sleep a night (hopefully). Tomorrow we begin tackling everything that has gone to seed while we were suffering...which is everything. Suddenly I'm not quite as optimistic as I was a minute ago.

65/365: Shop 'til you drop

2011-12-04T21:11:00.001-06:00

That's what we did today...as evidenced by our bags of loot. We didn't manage to get our decorations up, courtesy of our sickness and simply not having enough hours in the day, but at least we got some shopping done. Hopefully by next weekend the plague will have lifted.

64/365: Christmas Budget

2011-12-03T21:44:00.001-06:00

So...shopping for Christmas on a budget kinda sucks. Actually, shopping on a budget at anytime kinda sucks. There are way too many things I want to buy for everyone on my list. Unfortunately, this girl does not have a ton of disposable income, as it were, so this girl is forced to work within a budget. Anyway, all of this is to say that I got started on shopping in earnest today and was moderately successful. I'll probably be venturing out again tomorrow for a little while since I have to work in short chunks around Cora's eating schedule. Plus, we're all still sick so I don't think I'd make it on an all-day shopping spree. Anyway, hope your weekend is going well...see you back here tomorrow. Same bat time, same bat channel.

63/365: And with true love and brotherhood, each other now embrace

2011-12-02T09:29:00.001-06:00

So I write on here every year about how much I love A Christmas Carol (this is where I'd insert a link to previous posts if I could figure out how to do that on my phone...oh well). A Christmas Carol is the single most convicting story I've ever read. It rips your guts out and throws them on the floor but even still, by the end of the story you're feeling pretty great (which is always a nice outcome). It's meant to be gut-ripping b/c seriously, the two things Dickens loved most and felt most strongly about were poor people and children. Poor children are double points. And honestly, you just don't ask someone like Dickens to write a Christmas story without expecting him to use it, on some level, to speak out about the things that were important to him.

A Christmas Carol was written at a time when Christmas celebrations were seeing a resurgence after a long period of practically no notice of the holiday at all. The first Christmas trees and Christmas cards came about around this time in England and America and Dickens's story added to the feeling of joy and celebration that the holiday had begun to inspire.

Now, A Christmas Carol is a staple of the American Christmas diet. There are a ridiculous amount of adaptations of the story to movies and TV specials. Last night, we kicked off the holiday month by watching one of my new favorite versions...Disney's A Christmas Carol (the motion capture version starring Jim Carrey). Yes, there are some gimmicky parts added to give the story more action, but seriously, it's quite a good version. It includes a lot of scenes that many recent versions have left out, i.e. the mention of Scrooge's sister Fan, the children named Ignorance and Want, Scrooge's harrowing scene in the room with his own corpse, etc...all of which I really appreciate because it makes the story much richer and more complex. A lot of people have complained that this version is too scary but here's the deal...it's supposed to be scary. If it isn't scary then where's the danger and the consequences of not changing your ways? No, it's not for little kids but I'd argue that very few versions are (excepting perhaps another favoriteof mine, The Muppet Christmas Carol). So anyway, check it out.

A Christmas Carol is a story for the ages and a well-established tradition in my house. And now, as is my usual custom, I'll leave you with a quote:

"Business!" cried the Ghost, wringing its hands again. "Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were, all, my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!"
~Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

62/365: Whoops!

2011-12-01T19:16:00.001-06:00

I almost forgot to post today...don't wanna break my streak! This week has been really crazy and I'm just so thankful that tomorrow is Friday and that my girl is feeling better. Looking forward to possibly getting more than 4 hours of sleep tonight and a weekend where no one is sick & feeling crummy. Back tomorrow with a post that actually has substance.

61/365: Amen, Lucy, Amen :)

2011-11-30T09:02:00.001-06:00

60/365: In which I discover that beginning your Christmas efforts after Thanksgiving means that you're already behind.

2011-11-29T12:19:00.001-06:00

It's only November 29th and I'm pretty sure that I'm already way behind in regards to Christmas...how can this be? I thought that I was doing well when I realized that I already have presents taken care of for 3 people on my list. 3 people down & it's not even December yet!

Today is a different story though...today I'm bogged down with the thought of Christmas cards that need to be ordered (with a cute picture I haven't been able to get b/c my child feels like crap), decorations that need to be put up, and trying to figure out presents for the elusive 3 people on my list that never have any suggestions for what they want. I was having mild anxiety issues today when I looked at my calendar and realized that it's not even December yet!!

Some of this must be caused by sleep deprivation...the little one has a cold and I haven't more than 3 hours at a time in 3 nights, but seriously it's beginning to seem overwhelming. I plan to just skate thru this week and if I can make it to the weekend without having a breakdown I think I'll be ok. Some tree decorating, some holiday special watching and I think things'll be back in perspective.

59/365: Last Christmas

2011-11-28T11:57:00.001-06:00

Last year about this time I was wondering if I might be pregnant. The month before I'd had a false alarm which had really gotten me down in the dumps so this time I was determined not to jump the gun and start testing after only being 4 days late. This time I waited over 7 days before testing and it came back positive. Truthfully (and this is the part I'll never tell Coraline) I immediately became terrified and wondered if I could just take it all back. It took a little while for the happiness to outweigh the terror.

This year I have an in-the-flesh baby (who is sick and clingy today) that I get to start holiday traditions with and I couldn't be more pumped about that. I know that she won't remember them for a few years yet but it'll still be lots of fun.

Right now I just hope that we can get over this sick hump & that she'll be feeling better soon so that we can all enjoy the holiday season.

58/365: Silent Night

2011-11-27T21:12:00.001-06:00

I'm hoping for one but not counting on it. We are still living with constipation and diaper rash issues. Now she also has a cough that makes me nervous (all breathing-related issues make me nervous) and kept me up off and on last night. Tonight I have kicked Jeremy out of bed to let the munchkin sleep with me. We've got the humidifier going & saline drops standing by. Hopefully the cough will clear up without a trip to the doctor lest I become "that woman" who calls about every sniffle their child has.

57/365: Home for the Holidays

2011-11-26T15:51:00.001-06:00

We're on our way home now and even though I love visiting family, I must admit that I always breathe a sigh of relief once we're on the way home. It has intensified a bit now that we have so much baby stuff to drag around with us, but the truth is really that I'm just a homebody. I like my house and I like being there. Not to mention that things do seem exponentially easier Coraline-wise if we're at home. I especially love being at home during the holidays surrounded by my decorations. I'm really looking forward to tomorrow...it's supposed to be cold and I plan to get a fire going in the fireplace, drink hot chocolate, play in Christmas decorations, and chill on the couch in a sea of blankets. Sounds like a perfect day to me.

56/365: It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2011-11-25T22:40:00.001-06:00

I had planned on writing a much more in-depth post about the holiday season & how much I love it, but Coraline has some mega diaper rash (yes, it appears she may have my skin after all, sadface) and so she has cried off and on all day. Add to that the fact that we set up Mum's Christmas tree today and you see why I'm just now getting to blog. And now I'm going to sleep b/c I have a sneaking suspicion that a certain someone may not sleep as well as normal. I'm tired already. But seriously, I love the holidays. Hope the start of your holiday season has been great.

55/365: Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T22:00:00.001-06:00

Hope you had a great holiday & spent it with people you love. I am thankful for so many people and things and my little Turkey ranks very high on that list.

54/365: The Almost Hug

2011-11-23T10:16:00.001-06:00

I love special things between me and the people I love. I love the way that when Jeremy and I hold hands his pinky finger separates my pinky from the rest of my fingers. I like how our arms naturally click together when he hugs me and how he'll kiss me on the forehead if he's running late & trying desperately to just get out the door. I always joke that I'll know by the way he holds my hand if he's become a pod person (it's very important to have an identification plan in case of a pod people invasion...but that's another post entirely).

And now I have some thing like that between myself and Cora. My favorite so far is the almost hug. A lot of times now, especially at night, when I pick her up and hold her up to my chest or shoulder, she puts her arms on either side of my neck like she's hugging me & lays her head on my shoulder. She's not going to sleep, she's just comfy like that and it makes me happy.

Also, I may be a tad sentimental from time to time.

53/365: Exchange

2011-11-22T15:31:00.001-06:00

"I do know that to regret the exchange of earthly pleasures for the joys of Heaven, is as if the grovelling caterpillar should lament that it must one day quit the nibbled leaf to soar aloft and flutter through the air, roving at will from flower to flower, sipping sweet honey from their cups, or basking in their sunny petals. If these little creatures knew how great a change awaited them, no doubt they would regret it; but would not all such sorrow be misplaced?
~Anne Bronte, The Tenant of Wildefell Hall

52/365: Why you should never have a baby in August

2011-11-21T12:59:00.001-06:00

So here's the thing...now that I'm pretty much all healed up I'm really beginning to notice how incredibly out of shape I am. Not that I was in fabulous shape pre-baby, but seriously, I could walk around my street a few times without getting winded & now that is not even a guarantee when I'm just walking to the mailbox and back. It's bad. For reals.

The dilemma here is that 1) While it is not super cold yet, it could be at any moment and I definitely don't have the dedication to exercise outside in uncomfortable temps...I'll just be honest and 2) the holiday season is upon us which means that all dreams of eating healthy get blown out the window until January. Really, I should just shelve the issue until the new year & just make a resolution to address it, but it's really to the point that I feel bad physically so I need to do something (however small) now. I'm thinking it's time to dig out my 10 minute solutions Pilates DVD & do my best to do a couple of the sections every night. And I should probably eat better too. We're cutting our food budget drastically (kids are expensive, yo!) so that should at least help me to eat out less (i.e. never).

I really don't care much about looking awesome (which is good since my hair is always either frizzy or limp & there's usually at least one stain on whatever shirt I'm wearing) but I would like to have some semblance of energy again and I figure exercising can only help at this point.

Anyway, I'll let you know if my efforts last longer than 3 days...

51/365: Today she wore a dress.

2011-11-20T10:51:00.001-06:00

All dressed up for church (with a paci that in no way matches anything she has on...cuz that's how we roll).

50/365: 9 Hours

2011-11-19T06:43:00.001-06:00

I may have slept for 9 hours last night! After my mom insured I was still alive she may have wept for joy.

*Also, I'm not a big fan of camera flashes.

49/365: What I Believe

2011-11-18T12:17:00.001-06:00

People everywhere seem to be getting into the Christmas spirit early this year. Already I'm seeing post upon post and mention upon mention of Christmas songs, decorations, shopping, etc... One such post yesterday really got under my skin & got me to thinking so prepare yourself for some rambling...

The poster was asking whether or not the other people in the group do Santa for their kids. She is a new mom & was trying to decide if she plans to do that for her kid or not. And so people started answering: we do Santa because it's just harmless fun, we don't do Santa because we don't want some made up person getting the credit for gifts we've worked hard to provide, etc... And then the conversation diverged into what people do for Christmas in general. Some people celebrate it to the nines, some people don't celebrate at all, some people only do the secular thing, some people baby Jesus it up...and the whole thing got me to thinking...what is it that I believe?

So here we go...and just a warning, I haven't really made it through all this in my head yet, much less on this blog. The truth is that I think I believe in Charles Dickens's vision of Christmas, that it's a "kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant" time. It's a time for generosity to those you love and for charity to those we tend to forget about the rest of the year, but in my case it's also generosity on a budget so I do the best I can. I believe in a very benevolent Santa Claus who will always bring my child great gifts for being so good all year...he was always so good to me when I was a kid. But at the same time I'm not a big fan of the comercial and consumer bent that Christmas has taken. I believe in honoring the birth of Christ by doing your absolute best to emulate him as much as possible--not by doing your best to cram him down everyone else's throat. By the time you're done keeping Christ in Christmas, everyone else around you has decided that Christ must be a pretty petty dude if this is the way his followers act.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that Christmas doesn't really require a ton of thought or debate. Just love the people in your life, give of yourself, your time, your money, your heart, whatever. It's the season of loving & giving. If that means Santa to you then do Santa. If that means volunteering your time to serve food at the Rescue Mission, do that. If it means gathering with friends and family you rarely see, gather away. Whatever it means to you, do it. Be present this season. Be deliberate. Love. Give. Enjoy.

"And it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us!"
~Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

48/365: All I Want for Christmas

2011-11-17T07:45:00.001-06:00

47/365: Whatever I want

2011-11-16T13:26:00.001-06:00

"You really don't understand do you? I don't want whatever I want. Nobody does. Not really. What kind of fun would it be if I just got everything I ever wanted? Just like that, and it didn't mean anything. What then?"
~Neil Gaiman, Coraline

46/365: (Today I Met) The Boy I'm Gonna Marry

2011-11-15T10:38:00.001-06:00

When people tell you that having kids doesn't really help your marriage and in fact can make your relationship worse--please listen to them. It's kinda strange because it's as if having a kid brings you exponentially closer at the same time that it pushes you apart. And the majority of days (in my all-of-three-months-experience) it's kind of a two steps forward and three steps back thing.

It's amazing how much of a time suck kids can be. Most days I feel like I'm doing good if I have 30 minutes to watch TV or read before going to bed. After making and eating dinner, getting everyone ready for the next day, and putting Cora to bed I'm ready for a few minutes of alone time and then bed. As a result, it can be pretty hard to keep your relationship a contented and happy one. But...you just gotta keep trying. Some weeks you suck at it & others not so much. So far, we're doing well this week.

P.S.--officially enrolled the kiddo in a new daycare. She starts Jan. 1. I am so excited it's stupid.

45/365: My Jolly Sailor Bold

2011-11-14T13:31:00.001-06:00

I finally got a chance to see the new Pirates movie last week & let me just say that there are really only 2 reasons to see it: 1. Johnny Depp and 2. Mermaids. Seriously, that's really just about it. It's a fun watch but nothing really memorable. I really enjoyed the mermaids though. And I liked the song that is sung in their debut scene so much that I found a full version online &amp; will now post the lyrics (you're welcome). It's a fun song.

"Upon one summer's morning, I carelessly did stray,
Down by the Walls of Wapping, where I met a sailor gay,
Conversing with a young lass, who seem'd to be in pain,
Saying, William, when you go, I fear you will ne'er return again.

His hair it hangs in ringlets, his eyes as black as coal,
May happiness attend him wherever he goes,
From Tower Hill, down to Blackwall, I will wander, weep and moan,
All for my jolly sailor, until he sails home.
My heart is pierced by Cupid, I disdain all glittering gold,
There is nothing can console me but my jolly sailor bold.

My father is a merchant--the truth I now will tell,
And in great London city in opulence doth dwell,
His fortune doth exceed 300,000 gold,
And he frowns upon his daughter, who loves a sailor bold.

A fig for his riches, his merchandise, and gold,
True love is grafted in my heart; give me my sailor bold.
My heart is pierced by Cupid, I disdain all glittering gold,
There is nothing can console me but my jolly sailor bold.

Should he return in poverty, from o'er the ocean far,
To my tender bosom, I'll press my jolly tar.
My sailor is as smiling as the pleasant month of May,
And often we have wandered through Radcliffe Highway,
Where many young girl we did behold,
Reclining on the bosom of her jolly sailor bold.
My heart is pierced by Cupid, I disdain all glittering gold,
There is nothing can console me but my jolly sailor bold.

My name it is Maria, a merchant's daughter fair,
And I have left my parents and three thousand pounds a year,
Come all you pretty fair maids, whoever you may be
Who love a jolly sailor that ploughs the raging sea,
While up aloft, in storm from me his absence mourn,
And firmly pray, arrive the day, he is nevermore to roam.

My heart is pierced by Cupid, I disdain all glittering gold,
There is nothing can console me but my jolly sailor bold."

Alas, this song does not appear on the soundtrack...

44/365: My mother-in-law kind of outdid herself, no?

2011-11-13T08:54:00.001-06:00

I love things like this that were made or bought for her when she was a baby but that she can keep forever. Although, I may be keeping the framed "All You Need is Love" lyrics for myself :)

43/365: Of all the Charlie Browns in the world you're the Charlie Browniest

2011-11-12T14:30:00.001-06:00

I really hope that my string of Charlie Brown-like luck has ended. In truth, I'm not sure I could survive much more. Things began to look up on Thursday & they've pretty much kept going that way so far. Jeremy spent today blowing a bunch of insulation into the attic with his brother & no one stepped thru the ceiling. I'm taking that as a sign that my days of sympathizing with the boy who never kicked a football are over...for now.

42/365: What I'm doing today

2011-11-11T11:57:00.001-06:00

Cleaning like mad, relaxing some, and rocking my baby.

41/365: The magic of animation

2011-11-10T08:21:00.001-06:00

"We have created characters and animated them in the dimension of depth, revealing through them to our perturbed world that the things we have in common far outnumber and outweigh those that divide us."
~Walt Disney

40/365: Babies don't keep

2011-11-09T08:02:00.001-06:00

I never thought I would be one of those mothers who cried over their baby growing up. I never have been much of a baby person--I've always preferred toddlers or children to tiny babies that can't talk or walk. Now that I have my own though I've discovered the one thing I am going to miss when my baby grows out of it...snuggles. I have a very snuggly baby & it is really going to break my heart the day that she decides there are much better things to do than snuggle up with Mom & rock. The day is coming, I know that, but maybe I'll get lucky and it won't show up for a year or two yet.

Today my baby is 3 months old. She almost 12 lbs and has grown 3.5 inches since her birth. She is discovering her hands like crazy now & I spend a ridiculous amount of time pulling them out of her mouth. She much prefers to be propped up in a sitting position or held up like she's standing rather than being cradled--unless she's tired or sick, then all bets are off. She talks all the time to Jeremy & I and she smiles to us constantly too. Her favorite song continues to be "Vincent" by Don McLean and we rock & sing that everyday after getting home from work/daycare. I eat those moments up because I know that's what I'll miss the most when she's 6, 12, 17 years old. She's still an easygoing baby who eats & sleeps like a dream most of the time and who generally has a great temperament. I love most everyday I get to spend with her & count myself incredibly lucky to be her Mom.

Keep growing all you want to, little girl, but for your mom's sake please retain your sweetness and your love of kisses and cuddles. :)

"Cleaning and scrubbing will wait til tomorrow, but children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs! Dust go to sleep! I'm rocking my baby. Babies don't keep."
~Ruth Hamilton

39/365: In which I hit a new low (literally)

2011-11-08T12:31:00.001-06:00

Yesterday was a rough day. I was emotional to the max (thanks a bunch unsettled hormones) and really just wanted to be at home rocking my baby all day. It was pretty bad & I had my first bout of crying in my office b/c I don't want to be here. So, 4 o'clock finally rolls around and I picked Coraline up from daycare. As I'm walking to the car, I misstep somehow and face plant in the parking lot, baby and all. Thankfully, she was strapped in her carseat and wasn't hurt, just scared. I managed to twist my right foot hella bad & rip a hole in my pants at the left knee & scrape my knee to shreds. But it could've been worse--at least Cora wasn't hurt & I didn't break my ankle or anything. After a night of icing my foot and propping it up, I feel better & am at work today continuing to prop it up. Hopefully it'll feel back to normal in a day or 2. Hopefully this'll be the end of my string of bad luck...

38/365: Operation find Amanda a new job commences

2011-11-07T12:37:00.001-06:00

I have got to find a new job. Something part time that pays decently that I could do in the evenings when Jeremy is home so that I wouldn't have to pay for daycare. I hate that Coraline goes to daycare everyday where she sits in a swing by herself for 8 hours. She can't even sleep well there so everyday when we get home she takes a long nap...when all I want to do is interact with her. Her personality seems crushed during the week b/c she gets very little interaction...in short, it sucks donkey balls. So I've got to find something else...like yesterday and I'm still working out if I could manage to just quit my job mow w/o anything else lined up. Honestly, it's just not worth it.